Mam-maw

Our world was changed in such a big way on Thanksgiving morning when my mam-maw had a severe stroke.

For the last 5 months our family, mostly my mom & her brothers have been planning a surprise birthday party for her. She would have been 80 on Christmas Eve. At this point it was decided that we would cancel the party. A couple days after running test and determining the severity of the stroke we were told that she would not ever be able to care for herself. The stroke left her unable to move her right side, unable to speak or swallow. She was limited to nodding her head and squeezing people's hands. Mam-maw did a wonderful thing for my mom & uncles, she took what would have been one of the hardest decisions they would have had to make out of their hands. Her wishes were that extreme measures not be taken to prolong her life. In this situation, it meant that she did not want a feeding tube to sustain her when she wouldn't be able to do what she loved most, be with and love on her family. It was explained to her what was going on and she nodded without hesitation that she did not want a feeding tube. She was ready to meet our heavenly Father. Mam-maw was my last biological grandparent on this earth. I still have other grandparents, Justin's Granny and so many other in my life that love on me like a grand parent, but it is so hard to know that I will never have the chance to sit and talk to my mam-maw again this side of heaven. As I sit here watching Landon & Madison sleep, my heart aches for them and they will never get to personally know this wonderful woman. She left such a legacy for our family and anyone she came in contact with. There are so many memories flashing through my mind. I know she is rejoicing and is whole now. No more pain, no more confusion, but oh mam-maw how I wish you were still here. I know it's selfish, but you are already missed so much. You and the many things you taught us will never be forgotten. We will pass on your recipes, make Popsicles for our children, I will learn how to make your rolls, and Rice Krispy treats that only taste good when they're made by you. I will teach my kids Nertz and how when shuffling cards, if you shuffle them more than 3 times they're all back where they started. I will watch Mrs. Doubtfire and always think of you. I will make my kids and grandkids and great-grandkids always feel welcome and that my home is a safe space whenever they need it. I will think of you when I see Mentos and when I hug a baby and give them loves on their cheeks. I will strive to know God the way you did. I pray that I can leave even half the impression on this world that you have and no matter how this world changes that I will stand for what I believe and make sure my kids and grandkids see that. Last, but certainly not least, I will have a wooden spoon in my kitchen. ;) I love you Mam-maw!! Tell Pap-paw, Grandmother and Pawpaw I said hi and help them love on my babies until I see you again!!