The Best Christmas Present Ever

This summer was a wake up call for Justin and me and how quickly things can change for the health of someone with CF. While Landon was in this hospital in August, I had one particularly hard night. I don't remember if I shared that night on FB or blogged about it. The short story is a team of doctors and nurses came in to help me hold Landon down with me trying to console him, so they could draw labs. We had been using an IV for labs, but the vein blew and this was the last IV the doctors wanted put in. Landon ended up screaming the whole time and telling me he didn't like me and why was I letting them hurt him. That's a lot for a mommy to take. They eventually got the labs and while I don't usually leave the floor except to go grab food, but when the RT came in later that night she could tell I needed to get away. I ended up running a mile in the hospital on the 3rd floor with the Kari Jobe Pandora station blaring in my ears. Before I went back I when to the chapel, in the 7 years we have been to TCH this was my first time to go there, and cried and prayed. Why did I have to be in there? Of all nights, why couldn't Justin have been at the hospital? Of course those questions are irrational. I'm him mom, I couldn't leave the room while he was scared and surrounded by strangers. I have the luxury of being able to work from anywhere, it was a week night, so it made no sense for Justin to be a the hospital that night. But this momma was heart broken. I was angry that Landon has to deal with being poked so often. I was crushed because I have never seen my sweet boy look at me the way he did. I was mad that the doctors hadn't figure out the right level a particular medicine before we hit this point. I finally called Justin that night to cry in his ear, it was late, he was already in bed, so I scared him and was bawling like a baby. He wasn't very happy when he realized that I had called in this state and scared him when in reality everything was fine. You know how it feels when you get those late night calls. The next night or a couple nights later a sweet friend called and let me cry in her ear about the stress and feelings of the previous night that I was still overcome with. I sat in the hallway of the 14th floor crying as we spoke with nurses walking by checking on me. Her daughter said a sweet prayer for Landon, they were in their car, so the poor girls were a witness to crazy Audra. Then the conversation went on to how this particular hiccup in Landon's health has put so much urgency on my heart for the condition of Landon's heart. You always hear that we never know the time or day when Christ will come back, but I have to admit that I don't always lead my kids toward the cross with such urgency. I pray for their hearts and that they will see the example that Justin and I try to set, but am not actively getting in the word with them like I should and letting them learn directly from me. I rely on their Sunday school and Awana teachers way too much out of fear. Today, after church, the fears that I have had for my oldest and when he would make the decision to ask Jesus in his heart are gone. Landon started asking questions while we were cooking lunch and Justin was able to answer all his question. I am over joyed to share with everyone that Landon is not only my sone, but now a brother in Christ. No matter when God decides his time on earth is done, Justin & I can now rest assured that Landon will be with us in heaven!! I cannot express the joy I have right now!! My baby boy, the one whose health can be so fragile, will have complete and total healing some day. It won't be reliant upon drugs or therapies, but solely on the fact that he asked Jesus to come into his heart. Today was a moment I will never forget and will always be so thankful that I was able to witness. I cannot thank the friends, family, church members, school teachers, Awana workers, Sunday school teachers and anyone else I may be forgetting who has any kind of impact on Landon enough!! Thank you for you faithfulness!! Thank you for you persistence in sharing the love of Jesus!! Thank you for your obedience and for filling in the gaps where we as parents fail!! All of you have forever changed my little boys life!!